Expert Contribution

Adding Too Much Value Modeling Leadership

Professionally & Personally

The typical, successful adult wears many hats. In your personal life, you may be a spouse, a parent, a friend, maybe even a community leader. At work, you may be viewed as an expert in a specific area. With all these roles, you may have become an expert in certain subjects. People reach out to you for advice. 

It did not occur to me until listening to a podcast a few days ago, that by providing my advice I might actually be hijacking the value of the other person’s ideas. One of my clients wanted my thoughts and input about an idea she had for her company. As she shared her thoughts, instead of acknowledging the power of her ideas, I wanted to provide more value to what she was doing. I inserted my advice. “Have you thought about also doing…?” After all, that is what I do. I am an expert. 

I had not realized that by interjecting my ideas, I made her project my own. I also shut down the value of what she wanted to accomplish. How else could I have partnered with her in what she wanted to accomplish? This is a common dilemma for leaders and parents. Instead of partnering with your employees or your children, you want to wear the hat of the expert, because after all, you are the expert. As I offered my thoughts, I watched her face lose the excitement, much like a balloon deflating. 

If you are like me, someone who thinks that offering value is giving advice, then may I share what I came to realize? By providing advice, I deny the other person the opportunity to develop their insight to think for themselves, learn and grow. 

Instead of being the expert, I can provide those around me, to include my clients, self awareness in their ideas and goals by being curious. If I can align with them, be present and truly listen, I am more able to help them find meaning and purpose in what they want to accomplish. 

As a leader in your industry, in your community and in your household, remember that effective communicators and leaders possess the ability to listen to others. Listen and be curious about those you impact; understand their thoughts though asking meaningful questions to help them actualize their ideas. Instead of sharing your ideas to give value, help them expand on their’s with helpful questions. “What would the final outcome of your idea look like?” “How can I partner with you?” “What do you need to move forward with this?” 

An experienced coach can partner with you to achieve your leadership strengths. Remember, you are only a leader if you have helped others achieve their passions and goals. If you tend to deflate instead of inflate what is possible, maybe it is time for you to partner with us to see all your possibilities. Contact EYHLifeCoach.com today to fully grow your leadership talents. 


Christina Dalton is the Principal of EYH Life Coach. She applies her own personal and career transitions along with several degrees and credentials to provide insight and knowledge into the coaching experience. Christina handpicks her staff, all of whom are ICF credentialed and have unique experiences to create invaluable coaching sessions.

By Christina Dalton, MS, PPS, PCC, EYH Life Coach 


About The Author

Life Coach
Christina Dalton
EYH Life Coach
925-872-4726

Christina Dalton is the principal Life Coach for Expanding YOUR Horizons. She is credentialed through ICF as a PCC, Professional Certified Coach. She has worked with people in all stages of life; including students, families, new businesses, etc. Christina embodies the passion and enthusiasm for you to reach your FULL professional and personal potential. “Working with us is a wonderful journey in growth fueled by empowerment, passion and execution.”

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