From the time I was a little girl, I was always sensitive to anyone touching my eyes. In fact, I was sensitive when other people played with their eyes. In first grade, I remember two boys, Ralph and Darrell. They had the amazing talent of turning their eyelids inside out. To this day, I find that to be one of the most disgusting things in the world. At 19 years old, my eye doctor informed me that if I want to control my stigmatism, I need to wear hard lens contacts. I am sure you can imagine my thrill as I locked myself in the bathroom trying to somehow get the contact lens into my eyes. I eventually learned a little trick – put the lens on my bottom lid and flick it in. Perfect! I have compensated using this trick for many years so as not to touch my eyes. My contacts and I have had a love-hate relationship, between dust in my eyes during a tennis match, to losing them in the most difficult times and places, I have accepted them as my daily routine. But, when my eye doctor first identified that I may need cataract surgery, the thought of the process truly scared me. How do I get past this one? Fortunately, three years ago the surgery was denied because my cataracts had not progressed enough. I was relieved. I could not envision doing the surgery with the idea of anyone touching my eyes.
But here we are now – 2023. Playing winter tennis, where the sun barely rises above the courts, I have suffered the pain of the light hitting my eyes, even with dark sunglasses. In visiting my eye doctor this time, he was thrilled, “ I have great news! You’re now ready for surgery.” Panic came over me as I fained a smile. My phobia for this operation returned. But this time I am a different person than I was three years ago. I have developed inner tools to manage and control my anxiety towards what I fear. Am I perfect at managing my anxiety and negative perceptions? Like anything else in my life, I believe in mastery over time. I will approach this with all the joy of what the final product would look like. Reminding myself that I would have a world without contacts and that I would be able to see through eyes as clear as when I was nine years old, excites me. I share this story because we all have limited views that keep us from self improvement. My apprehension about the surgery is a perfect example of how I could grow and benefit if I would accept the process. As we look within ourselves, what is something that you would like to tackle, whether physically or mentally, but your attitude towards the challenge keeps you from moving forward? I am now excited, withal scared, as I mentally accept the possibilities of this operation. Jumping into the ocean to snorkel and seeing the beauty of fish and the clarity of ocean seas, playing a tennis match with no concern of dust in my eyes; waking up in the morning with full vision – what an opportunity to rejuvenate myself. The possibilities of accepting this operation surely outweigh my fears.
Stay tuned, and I will do a follow up article sometime this summer, the outcome of my surgery. In the meantime, I challenge each of you to pick that one barrier that has held you back from self improvement. What tools do you have to surpass, your limitations? Feel free to reach out if you need a partner to develop your inner tools to embrace change, and relish your opportunities.
By Christina Dalton, MS, PPS, PCC, EYH Life Coach
Christina Dalton is the Principal of EYH Life Coach. She applies her own personal and career transitions along with several degrees and credentials to provide insight and knowledge into the coaching experience. Christina handpicks her staff, all of whom are ICF credentialed and have unique experiences to create invaluable coaching sessions.
