Expert Contribution

Full Blown Holiday Survival Kit (Chapter 2)

The turkey has been carved and the Thanksgiving dishes have been stored away. May I safely assume that you survived Chapter 1 of the holiday season; reflected on your triggers and had those important conversations we talked about last month? Ah – but you know as well as I do that the fun is only starting. From now through the New Year, the commercials that invade all electronic devices, to the holiday songs and merchandise in every store, it becomes impossible to escape the expectations of the season. 

In part two of our “Being our best self during the holidays”, may I invite you to explore more tools and techniques that I promised to share last month. Let’s focus on the opportunities of self-awareness and “right sizing” this holiday season to help you rise above expected and also unpredictable challenges you may face that pull you under from being your best self. 

As I explore what this holiday season will mean to me in all the hats I will wear – from wife, mother, sister, granddaughter, friend,…. you know the list, it occurs to me that I need to explore how to reframe the demands created by me and by others. I can’t change those around me. However, I can be more self aware of what my trigger points are and what I need. The following are suggestions of how to create joy in the holiday season. 

Self-awareness is a powerful tool. This means that we are aware how we feel when stressful moments erupt. It also recognizes the tools we have within ourselves to control those moments. How do you handle yourself when things are not going smoothly? This can be prompted by just about anything from preparing for guests, maneuvering uncomfortable conversations, transitions that have happened over the last year such as the loss of a loved one, to divorce or a falling out of relationships. It could even be about navigating the schedules of a blended family. 

To start, recognize how your body and mind feel when stress takes over who you are. Practice simple relaxation exercises to allow the stress to dissipate. In coaching, my clients and I develop uncomplicated physical and mental relaxation devices to manage their stress levels. 

Front load your safety plan now to create support for yourself. Who can be on your team to “catch” you when the overwhelming sensations occur? It could be your spouse, an adult child, or even a good friend. Converse ahead of time what you are anticipating and what you may need from them to support you in these difficult moments. 

With the help of your support person, you may consider taking a short pause and leaving for a quieter room or even taking a walk. The goal is to have the opportunity to refocus, reframe, and regroup. As little as 15 minutes may be all you need to reframe what is causing you stress. 

If, in the past, the holidays have been suffocating for you, consider “right sizing” what your holiday should look like. Create your holidays to fit your best self. This may mean pacing your entertainment, or keeping your gatherings smaller. Revisiting the part of the holiday that invites the biggest anxiety may be valuable to reframe it. Then contemplate how you can change that tradition to meet your needs without compromising the true reason for this tradition. Consider delegating some of the responsibilities on to other members of the gatherings. It’s OK if you are recognizing that you don’t have to be a superhero. 

What if an unexpected comment is made or something you looked forward to “flops”? How can you find humor in that moment to relieve the unnecessary feelings you may be experiencing? The opportunities to find shades of gray in how you react to the situation can make the difference between an amazing holiday gathering versus one you wish you could erase from your memory. 

Occasionally the holidays might be a time to let go of some of your favorite traditions because of a change in your family, friends or circumstances. By keeping your perspective open as you define new traditions may offer new possibilities for this holiday season. 

For instance, my son-in-law, a firefighter, had to work this Thanksgiving. As a family, we agreed on a different day to fully celebrate the holiday. Adult children may have to split the holidays with parents and in-laws. And of course, if a family member had experienced a divorce, compromises may need to happen between the families. 

To have a less stressed and more joyous holiday celebration, recognize the challenging moments early. A common theme in a coaching session is “If you can name it, you can manage it.” Plan early to manage best who you want to be this holiday. Create possibilities to allow yourself to let go. And of course, allow forgiveness for yourself. You don’t have to achieve perfection: you are supposed to have fun. You want to do more than just survive the holidays. You want to thrive! 

May these coaching suggestions help to make for a magical holiday season and a safe and healthy 2022. After all, it is about you first so that you can be your best for others. 


Christina Dalton is the Principal of EYH Life Coach. She applies her own personal and career transitions along with several degrees and credentials to provide insight and knowledge into the coaching experience. Christina handpicks her staff, all of whom are ICF credentialed and have unique experiences to create invaluable coaching sessions. 

By Christina Dalton, MS, PPS, PCC, EYH Life Coach 


About The Author

Life Coach
Christina Dalton
EYH Life Coach
925-872-4726

Christina Dalton is the principal Life Coach for Expanding YOUR Horizons. She is credentialed through ICF as a PCC, Professional Certified Coach. She has worked with people in all stages of life; including students, families, new businesses, etc. Christina embodies the passion and enthusiasm for you to reach your FULL professional and personal potential. “Working with us is a wonderful journey in growth fueled by empowerment, passion and execution.”

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