It’s that time of year again. The town is festive, homes are decorated and many special gatherings and traditions are planned. For many families, the holidays are the only time that everyone comes together. This can lead to some amazing conversations…or difficult ones. One of the most common and challenging topics that I hear from my clients is when other family members have a strong opinion about the sale of their home.
Let’s think back to when you first bought your home. Perhaps you were starting a family and you chose the perfect home to raise your kids. Fast forward 15, 30 or 40 years (maybe more). You’re likely in one of two positions. Either you still love your home and wish to stay indefinitely, or you’re ready for a change. Either way, it’s a big decision with lots of things to consider, and you’ve given it a lot of thought. With some enthusiasm, you share your decision with family members over the holidays. Before you know it, the conversation has turned and you may be hearing, “You CAN’T sell the family home!” or “You have to sell this house!”
Should selling your home be a family decision? In most cases, no. However, it really depends on your family structure and the motivation behind the decisions. If the objection to selling is strictly emotional, coming from one of your adult children, then hopefully they’ll come around when you share your reasons for wanting to sell. Odds are they are living someplace else and your move really doesn’t impact them. If the home is truly special and it’s been passed down for generations, perhaps they’ll want to buy it? Maybe the objection is not emotional, but it’s actually practical from a financial perspective. Thoughtful estate planning can make a huge difference in tax consequences and financial outcomes. Be sure to listen and research your options with trusted professionals, if this is the concern. I see too many people decide to give up their dreams, or continue to live in a home that is no longer right for them, instead of paying the taxes. It’s a personal choice.
Now imagine that you’re perfectly happy in your long term home, and you have no desire to move…but your kids think you need to! Rather than just getting upset with them, it’s a good idea to at least listen to their reasoning. Are they concerned about your safety and general well being? Can you afford to maintain the house and your current lifestyle? Are they asking you to sell and move closer to them, out of the area?
There can be a lot of complex decisions. For example, if you’re considering moving to be closer to your family, make sure that everyone has a clear understanding of what that will look like. If you’re planning to help with the grandkids, will that be every now and then, or everyday? I’ve seen many adult children concerned that their parents are socially isolated, as they age. Their logic is that if they move closer to the kids, then they will be socially fulfilled. In reality, if the parents have a long-standing network of friends and neighbors in their current community, moving to be closer to family may actually create isolation. Depending on your family dynamics and the destination, it can also be a beautiful arrangement. Every situation is unique, and ultimately, the decision to stay, move, sell your home or keep it, should be your own.
Do you have real estate questions? Every home is unique. Please feel free to reach out to me at 925-964-5010 or via email at Lisa.Hopkins@Compass.com. Even if you’re not planning a move, I’m happy to help by providing you with relevant data, enabling you to make a well informed decision. It’s never too early to start planning for success.
